You’ve heard about hazing, but what if you’ve been hazed and didn’t even realize it? Here’s our advice on how to say “no” to hazing.
Hazing. A word so prevalent in today’s society that you hear it whether you’re in a sorority or not.
According to StopHazing.org, 73 percent of social fraternity or sorority members have experienced at least one hazing behavior. Whether your sorority sister “makes” you run across campus singing a super embarrassing song or “forces” you to drink past your tolerance at a party, these scenarios fall under the category of hazing.
The first week that I joined my sorority, we had to attend a mandatory presentation about the dangers of hazing and how to report/prevent it. I remember thinking, “this is stupid” and how I was “wasting my time” because I would never get hazed.
Thankfully, my sorority doesn’t haze new members, so I never felt pressured to do anything that I wasn’t comfortable with.
But after attending the presentation and learning what falls under the hazing category, I realized that I have been hazed in other aspects of my life.
My senior year of high school, I moved to a new city, making me the vulnerable new kid. I met a group of friends who seemed popular and “cool” at the time. When I first started hanging out with them, I always felt pressured to do exactly what they did in regards to drinking and partying, even though I was going against my parents’ expectations of me.
I specifically remember one night where I told my friends that I wouldn’t be drinking because I had SAT prep later that night with my dad. The moment I murmured the word “no,” they started harassing and pressuring me to drink, saying that if I didn’t drink they would never be my friends and that I was a loser.
From an outside perspective, you are probably so confused why I continued to hang out with these awful people for the first part of the year. My honest answer is that I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be accepted.
Even though I wasn’t in an exclusive organization, my friends’ actions were still the same as the hazing that you hear about and see in college fraternities and sororities.
It’s extremely hard to say no to hazing when you are new and desire friends. Often, you push aside hazing and make excuses, like everyone had to go through it to be in the friend group or organization.
If you are ever put in an uncomfortable situation or are made to feel like you have no way out, then my advice to you is to ditch the people who make you feel this way and look for real friends.
Even if you’re in the top sorority, it isn’t acceptable for them to treat you poorly. Just remember that you always have the option to say no and that saying no doesn’t make you a loser. In the end, if you wouldn’t treat your friends that way, then you shouldn’t accept those people who do that to you.
Have you ever experienced hazing?
Comment below and share how you prevented hazing or said no to a potentially bad situation.
Blair Waldorf, played by actress Leighton Meester, is Serena’s best friend on Gossip Girl, and the “Queen Bee” of the Constance Billiard School for Girls. With a fashion designer for a mother, it’s no surprise that Blair has amazing fashion sense and a true signature style.
Blair Waldorf Style
Blair’s style is very classic, preppy, and polished. She always looks as if she stepped out of a department store window; her outfit is flawless, and she never has a hair out of place. Blair’s fashion sense is definitely the quintessential upper-east-side stereotype, and she’s not ashamed of it!
Blair would never step outside with unwashed hair, wear an outfit that didn’t match, or buy anything “distressed” or “boho chic.” That said, here are some of Blair’s signature looks–the pieces you can almost always catch Ms. Waldorf wearing around the streets of Manhattan.
Dresses & Skirts
When I was looking for photos of Blair Waldorf, I quickly realized that I couldn’t find a single photo of her wearing pants. Blair is all about skirts and dresses, worn with tights in the winter and bare legs in the warmer months. She’s not into denim at all, so if you want to dress like Blair, forget about jeans.
For lots of cute dresses, look for dresses at H&M, LuLus, and Charlotte Russe. Look for sophisticated, structured dresses with fun details like ruffles and lace to get the Blair look.
Since she attends an upscale private school, many of Blair’s outfits are school-uniform appropriate. That means she wears lots of collared shirts, simple skirts, and ties. You can channel a little bit of prep school chic yourself with a structured button-up blouse and navy blue skirt. For extra Blair appeal, add a brightly colored headband and tights.
No matter how subdued Blair’s outfit may be, she always incorporates a pop of color in some way. Whether it’s a bright red trench coat over a navy dress, a technicolor bag, or orange leggings under her school uniform, Blair keeps her look fresh with brights. Her favorite colors are red (her signature), orange, and yellow.
Blair is a total girly-girl at heart, and because of this, she loves to incorporate feminine touches like lace, bows, and ruffles, into her outfits. This is also her go-to look for formal events and parties. For a similar look yourself, ASOS and H&M are known to carry lots of girly pieces that Blair herself would approve of.
Even when Blair is sleeping, she still looks completely chic. A Waldorf doesn’t wear regular flannel pajamas to bed – she sleeps in a designer negligee. And hanging around the house doesn’t mean wearing sweats! Blair has been known to wear a satin dressing gown instead. Nordstrom carries lots of chemises that are classy, not trashy, if you want to get one yourself.
Blair’s signature hair accessories are her hundreds of different headbands! From tartan to satin, Blair wears her headbands in every style you can imagine. She usually wears them with her hair down, but occasionally pulls a headband over a sleek bun or ponytail. For lots of cute headbands for cheap, check out Forever 21.
In the winter months, Blair’s wardrobe revolves around tons of different pairs of tights. This season, she rocked every shade of tights imaginable, from bright red, to white, gray, and the ever popular black opaque tights. ModCloth is a great place to get tights.
Blair Waldorf almost always wears her medium length brown hair down in loose waves with lots of volume. These aren’t Serena’s messy curls, though. Blair always looks polished, and her hair is no exception.
To do your hair like Blair’s in the picture above:
Blow dry your hair smooth with your normal styling products.
If your hair is naturally very curly, you will want to straighten it with a flat iron before you curl it (this will give you Blair’s super-smooth look!) If you have naturally straight hair, use a curling product like Redken Cream Serum to help bring out your natural waves.
Separate your hair into sections, and starting with the bottoms layers of hair, curl strands with a 1 inch barrel curling iron. After curling, spray each tendril with medium-hold hairspray.
Now that you know more about Gossip Girl fashion, what do you think? Do you love Blair’s style, or are you more of a Serena or Vanessa? What did you think of Gossip Girl, and more importantly, the clothes? Leave a comment below and discuss!
Editor’s note: This post was originally published in 2008; it was completely updated and revamped in 2018 with new photos, outfit sets, and information.